My eldest son and I were also hit hard. I had loved Roy deeply, but we had issues that we couldn't resolve. We had the misfortune of getting an unethical therapist when we went for help, and he just made it worse. We divorced, but we remained friends. He had adopted my two sons when we married, and we had had a beautiful daughter together. I felt his loss deeply, but I knew he was finally free of his suffering. His health had been really bad for years. My eldest had just gotten where he was healing his relationship with Roy, so it hit him hard too.
I think my children got faced with my chronological age when Roy died. I was older than him. My personality is very fae and sometimes child like, so I rarely seem my physical age. This made them realize that folks they know who are even younger than me are dying and they don't know how many years they now have with me. They actually have 34 more years. I am slated to live to 104. My family, both sides of it, are very long lived folk. I've taken good care of myself so I will live a long time.
On November 11th, Roy's mother, Verna, died. She too had suffered for a very long time. The two of them were always very close, so I was not surprised that she followed him closely. I know he was there to lead her into the Light.
Having died myself and having a vivid Near Death Experience, I don't see the physical loss of those I love like most folk do. I know that I can still communicate with them. They aren't "gone" to me.
My little sister died a year ago and I talk to her every week. Like me, Jackie loved flowers, so I planted her favorite flowers in window boxes on my front porch for her. I would tell her how they looked and even picked bouquets for her. When her house finally was remodeled, I told her all about it. My mama and daddy stop by on rare occasions and I update them on the family. They both passed early, but they are still there for us. Jackie and I had many conversations about the other side during the 9 months I stayed with her. It was a birthing process for both of us; one she was so interested in knowing more about.
Death is merely a transition from one frequency of light to a higher frequency of light. The energy can be scientifically measured with lasers. I had the great good fortune to have a lively conversation with a scientist at MIT years ago, who was using this method. I explained what corrections he needed to make for it to work. I never knew if he used my advice, though he seemed to think it would work.
Don't let loss overwhelm you. It isn't healthy for you or for the person or animal who has passed. It keeps them tied to the earth plane and doesn't allow them to continue on to higher planes. Definitely mourn them. We need that. Let them go and bless them too. Give them permission to go on and learn more on a different plane. Prayers reach them. They hear you when you speak to them. It is very reassuring to me. If you would like to know what it is like on the other side of life, contact the IANDS Society. Those of us who have gone and returned can tell you of our experiences.